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What's Mine to Do

Inspired by Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius and Seneca · The Enchiridion, Meditations and the Letters

The oldest version of this app's own rule: some things are up to you and some are not, and almost all the peace is in telling them apart. Every card here is inside your own power — what you judge, what you choose, what you do — and none of it depends on what the world sends back.

Choose from 11

What is actually up to me?

Sort It Before I React
I will name whether this is up to me before I spend anything on it.

I say the thing plainly, without the story around it, and name the part that is mine — what I judge, what I choose, what I do. The rest I name as not mine and leave there. When it stings, I look at what I told myself about it.

Do My Part, Release the Rest
I will do my part well and let the result be what it is.

I do the part that is mine, properly, and hand the result over to how it goes — meeting what I did not choose without arguing with it.

Who am I before the day starts?

Set the Morning
Before the day starts, I will decide who I am in it and how I will meet what goes wrong.

Before the day starts I picture the hard part of it and decide how I would want to meet it, naming who I am in that room before I walk in. The day begins with that rather than with the phone.

Act Without the Applause
I will do one good thing nobody will know I did, and start it without announcing it.

I begin it without telling anyone I am going to, do it properly, and let it go unmentioned.

What can I go without?

Practise Going Without
I will do without one comfort today, on purpose, to find out that I can.

I pick the comfort before the day picks for me, and take the plain version or none at all — noticing what I would have missed, and that I am still fine.

Live Today as the Whole
I will do one thing today that I would want to have done if today were all of it.
Read a Little, Closely
I will read a small amount slowly rather than a large amount quickly.

How do I meet other people?

Assume They Meant Well
When someone acts badly, I will consider what they might have believed.
Say Less Than I Could
I will listen twice as long as I speak in one conversation.
Keep My Own Part Clean
I will do my own part well whether or not anyone else does theirs.

What am I spending my life on?

Count It in Hours of Life
Before I agree to something, I will count what it costs in hours of my life.

I count the hours it will actually take and ask whether I would pay that in money. Then I say no to one call on my time I would have refused if it had a price.

You get your own editable copy — change anything, drop what doesn’t fit. They land in your Intentions, tagged Agency; you pull in what each day is for.